I'm a short fat fur ball with a 3" cock on a 2 minute timer. My comb over compliments my savvy fashion sense... I have a great toupee for special occasions and lots of hats. My game controller keeps my body in shape and my mind sharp... and my couch warm. I hate my job cleaning toilets at McDonald's, but I managed to save enough money for a ’76 Trans Am. I'm proud to say that after 13 years, two months, and 23 days I finally worked up the gumption to leave the abusive relationship I was in... I traded bruises for loneliness... I'm not sure it was a fair trade. Now she beats on my former, one and only, friend... lucky bastard. I’m miserable, and if I could afford a gun I would shoot myself… hmmm… maybe if I didn’t spend all my money on booze, gambling, and s I could afford a gun… nah, that wouldn’t work cause my mom would bitch-slap me with it when I brought it home. Did I mention that I have the sense of humor of a box of Q-tips? I’m desperate… please, won’t some needy woman take pity on me. BTW, Chastity says I’m a real tiger in bed. ;~ ) Don't let my sarcasm fool you... this brand of humor offsets my refinement; I'd just rather not bore you with the usual generic yada yada. I'm a product designer and love the problem solving, creativity, and versatility of my profession. I work for myself from home and I come and go as I please… within rea. I'm normal (whatever that means) and versatile with a unique edge. I discriminate against few activities or points of view… discovery is important. I'm relatively well traveled, which has given me a more realistic world view than most in the U.S.. I'm open, honest, and not afraid to speak my mind… in fact, there are few things that scare me. I don't take unreaable risks, although my definition of unreaable is more liberal than most. I'm objective and can admit when I'm wrong… that's not true, I'm really subjective and stubborn. ;~ ) The careful listener will catch my wit, which is often laced with dualities. I like to keep things light and fun mixed with some lively banter, but I have a serious side as well. I'd much rather learn by doing than dictating a laundry list of traits, attributes, and interests. It's not my style. Besides, my opinion is subjective; are you really going to believe what I say about myself?... and where's the fun in that? The only way you can truly begin to know me is to meet me. My words have given you a glimmer of insight into me, these [COLOR firebrick][post 1922511][/COLOR] will too... and here are a few more: The equation (fear = lack of control) can be reversed. Show me a successful per and I'll show you someone who has mastered failure. You can't learn anything if you already know it all. The only constant in the universe is change. Concentrate on each game and the championship will take care of itself. Heaven and hell are two sides of the same coin. Life is as special as you care to perceive it. Chemistry is a recipe written with no ink... you know it's right when you taste it. BTW, I have not padded my age, I am 50, but could pass for mid 40’s.

My Ideal Person I'm looking for a woman that's able to stimulate me on both sides of the bedroom door. She doesn't take herself or me TOO seriously... she's easy going and free-spirited. If she's strictly NSA, let the games begin, but sex starts outside the bedroom and I would prefer an ongoing relationship. She knows and will tell me what she wants from me. She is straight forward and honest. She enjoys sensuality but also needs to be ravished.

I'm looking for quality not another notch in my headboard or a harem. What I am looking for is very simple. If there's a spark both online and on the phone then we'll meet for a bevie to see if our eyes, brains, and bodies want each other. If they do then we'll get something to eat, go for a stroll, or some other activity to continue the discovery. If that works for both of us then, at some point, we'll move on to a tender, smooth, powerful, deep, ravenous attempt to out pleasure each other for an unreasonably long time. If we both enjoy the encounter then we'll want to see each other again. If at some point we both decide that we want to be exclusive then we'll choose to do so… this possibility diminishes with distance. We're adults and won't let society dictate our relationship. Simple… no games, no posturing, no drama… just straight forward open honesty with ourselves and each other.

I'm looking for some combination of petite/slim/athletic/average and I expect my playmate to be clean (I am) and reasonably fit. Body types are subjective so don't be shy, but you should be able to picture us looking good together walking down the street. Chemistry and desire are paramount.

So are we a good fit? If the prospect touches the right buttons I'm eager to meet you. Don't be shy; I won't bite… unless you want me to. I will respond to all emails... except from men.
If I email you and you're not interested please take a few seconds to send me a quick reply... I'm a big boy I can take it. If it doesn't work out I wish you the best in your search. S

Experience dictates that I include these words:
Current images (face and full body - revealing street clothes or better) are mandatory and not being upfront with them is a HUGE red flag. Also, you must be willing to meet at some point. No endless emails and/or phone calls (unless they're fun and worthwhile). Please don't waste my time on these two points.

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
I have an artist brush and some melted butter that I'm
itching to try out.

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A bed, The beach, A moving vehicle (i.e. car), The middle of a park, A dark back alley, A movie theatre, A remote wilderness spot, My desk at work, A store dressing room, An elevator, A hotel room, Anywhere, A golf cart, My Eames lounge chair, dining room table

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Fetishes, Light Bondage, Spanking, Role Playing, Threesomes, Slave/Master, Mutual Masturbation, Food Play, Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Blindfolds, Massage, discretely playing in public

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Sexual experience, Physical attraction, Sexual appetite, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Creativity/Kinkiness level

Have you ever had cybersex?:
No way. I only want skin on skin.

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