In the process of a friendly divorce. Memories of an intense experience with a friend who was into BDSM scene haunt me and so i guess i'm a crossover. is that normal? My friend/Master invited a friend over and the two of them used me for hours. When i was lying on the bed, hands tied behind my back, and they tried to put a gag in my mouth, i turned away on to my stomach and said assertively, "no!" My Master slapped me hard against the face and my whole body went limp with pleasure and submission. He slapped me again and said, "Don't ever tell Me no, bitch!" His friend said, because He saw me struggling to turn away: "oh, look, she's offering up Her sweet ass to You," which was not my intent but my Master got immediately turned on and started fucking me up the ass hard and without mercy (he knew i was a virgin in this respect). My head was pushed down on the pillows but i was screaming, begging, crying. i was in intense pain and the noises that emanated from my mouth were humiliating in their inarticulateness, their primality, and the two Men were laughing at me. i had the choice at any time to use my safeword and stop the whole scene, and a few times i came very close, but i pushed through and do not regret it for a second. It was as close to the real thing without being truly hurt as one could get. When my Master was done with me and i went limp, He grabbed my ass on both sides and turned it over to His friend for use. He wasted no time in using me as hard as possible. Afterwards i was sobbing and moaning. They laughed at me, but untied me and let me come back into the real world. i had leaked out of my ass (miraculously nothing horrible and no blood but still embarrassing, They forced me to walk to the bathroom with the soiled quilt and watched as my tortured body (i was sore in all my holes from the day's pleasures, as well as full of welts from hand, paddle, and belt acros my back, legs and ass) bent over the bathtub, and handwashed my shame from the blanket. So they were sweet when leaving and told me i was a good little slut and they'd use me again but it never happened: i moved away for career reasons, got married for five years,and am now trying to rediscover that person who was so satisfied by that day. Perhaps i may find it here? Thank You for listening and for providing a welcome forum for "freaks" like me! Look forward to the ride, so to speak. smithie